Four years ago, yours truly was not exactly in a good place. I was drinking heavily, staying out late, doing drugs, and was in a relationship with someone who turned out to be not such a nice guy after all. Things didn’t end well. However, to quote one of our fearless leaders, Albus Dumbledore, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light“, and I started to do just that. I had been in the dark for too long, fumbling around for the light switch, all I needed was a helping hand. My older sister, Paige, helped me get back on track by going to see a psychiatrist, getting on a medicine regiment, and definitely cutting back on my drinking and other things.
I was still living at home, not working, but I was very close to finishing cosmetology school–though admittedly I just finished to say I had finished something, hair was not my passion. While I was still hurting from the events of my breakup, I made myself two choices: get a cat or try to get back into the dating world, even if it just was a date or two here and there. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to have a boyfriend again…It was at the end of April, beginning of May sometime in 2013 that I decided to get back on a dating website that I used in the past. Neither of those relationships worked out, BUT hey, they say that the third time’s a charm. And it was. More on that in a minute.
My first two dates from this site didn’t exactly pan out to much. The first guy, though attractive and had things going for him, had a..let’s say..personal issue that I just couldn’t get on board with and it fizzled from there. The second guy was the worst date ever. He had a kind of creepy vibe from the moment we met, made advances that were not warranted on the first date, and said things in regards to the Sandy Hook shooting that immediately made me nervous, unsettled, and freaked the fuck out. I firmly told him to leave the place we were at and to never contact me again.
After those two misfires, I wasn’t really that thrilled with what the dating world was offering in my city. I had cut myself off from all of my old friends so finding a date or being set up with a friend of a friend wasn’t really an option. I had noticed, however, that one guy on this dating site kept popping up under the “Someone You’d Be Interested In” category. He was very attractive, had an interesting profile, we did have a good amount of things in common, and I really liked his smile. I was intrigued, but I chose to let him come to me, if at all. And he did.
This super cutie sent me a message one evening and I didn’t respond right away–I didn’t want to seem too eager just yet–but I did reply maybe 30 minutes later. He was a great conversationalist through the messages he sent, and though you can’t truly get a full read on someone just by messages alone, he seemed to be a great guy. After a few days of this, he asked me on a date at a local pub that he and I both liked. I agreed to meet him on May 9th at 7pm.
I arrive at the pub 30 minutes early, just to give my bartender friend a heads up in case I needed him to step in and save me, and to order a beer. I sat down at a booth and waited for this guy to arrive. Pretending to not notice him walk in, I stared at my phone until he walked up to the booth and smiled at me. I smiled back and we proceeded to have our date. We didn’t leave until 12am. He and I bonded quickly, sharing stories and common interests. It turns out he and I had been in somewhat the same social circle for a while, but had never managed to meet. At the end of the evening, we exchanged numbers, and he walked me to my car. He and I both said we had had a great time and would love to do this again. He, in super cute fashion, gave me a side hug and then walked back to his car. And the rest was history.
Fast forward to today, May 9th, 2017, I am happily married to that super cute guy from the dating site. James and I have our ups and downs, like any couple, but we are solid as solid can be. He is my best friend and biggest fan and my world changed completely when I met him. He helped me in finding a job, is supportive of getting me back into school, and is a champ when it comes to my bad days. We’ve been together 4 years and married for 6 months, but it feels like it was just yesterday that we met that night at our favourite pub.
There is always a silver lining and a way to turn on the light. Sometimes you just need a little push.