I saw this quote on FaceSpace and it really struck a chord with me. I have always apologized for who I am, for what I’m into, what I’m wearing, what I’m thinking, what I’ve done in life. No longer will I do continue to do this and no longer will I let someone tell me who I am. Yes, my past hurts to think about sometimes. Yes, I have done things I am not proud of. What makes me a better person is that I LEARNED from these things. Unfortunately, having really bad anxiety and a good memory forces me to think and focus on things I did years ago even when I thought I had moved on from it. This particularly happens when I’m trying to fall asleep at night.
I used to apologize for everything but I am slowly learning that I shouldn’t have to be sorry for being myself. I am becoming more aware of the fact that I am who I am because of the experiences I went through and that though some may have been bad, life-threatening, or sometimes reputation-ruining, I’ve survived them all and am learning to love myself. I’d like to think of myself as someone who is honest, kind, a good listener, a loyal friend, creative, smart, funny, and a dedicated weirdo. I also enjoy a good pint or 3.
This love for myself didn’t happen overnight, mind you. I used to be proud of who I was when I was younger, but due to some very bad experiences, people, and drug-related issues, I lost myself. It has taken me about 4 years to remember who I am. James has certainly been a big help with helping me remember and accept myself.
It doesn’t matter who you are, there is only one of you. You are special and most certainly needed in this world. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t hide who you are. Don’t be sorry.